I’m not absolutely certain, but Mike Huckabee, former Arkansas Governor, former Presidential candidate, and current Fox News talk show host, may have just catapulted the potential of Saline County Circuit Judge Robert Herzfeld’s political career.

Google “Robert Herzfeld.” You’ll see a zillion entries showing a letter he wrote to Huckabee on January 13, 2004. He warned that the then-Governor’s policy on clemency was “fatally flawed.”

A grammar geek might dismiss that phrase as extreme, saying it’s overused and has become hyperbole, losing its original meaning. A fatal flaw is literally one that causes death. Scan forward to November 29, 2009 – nearly six years after that letter was written. A gunman shot and killed four Tacoma, Washington police officers. Law enforcement soon linked the murders to Maurice Clemmons, a recipient of Huckabee’s clemency. It’s no longer hyperbole.

Since I had you Googling Herzfeld now, you’ve likely found the rest of the story, and I can summarize with the title of syndicated radio host James Edwards’ recent column, “It’s official: Mike Huckabee is toast.” He refers to Huckabee’s chance of becoming the 45th President of the United States.

Huckabee has made at least one statement that places blame on others, and at least one statement that takes some blame for himself. (Seriously, Google it, y’all. I don’t get that much space in this paper.) Regardless of his intent in either of these statements, the damage is done. And since stacks of articles portray Herzfeld as the predictor of this consequence, Huckabee seems to be tipping the political scales in our Saline County man’s favor.

These articles aren’t scattered just anywhere. Robert Herzfeld’s name is showing up in pieces from prominent news sources such as The New York Times, The Washington Post, and it goes without saying, The Courier. I’m no political pundit, but Huckabee is, and I want to say he’s fair and balanced, but not being able to talk as he’d like about this hot topic could be enough to drive him to digging his grave with a knife and a fork. (See what I did there? He lost weight and wrote a book with a title similar to – aw forget it.)

Connect the dots.

1) Huckabee ran for Prez and the whole U.S. knows him.
2) Huckabee hosts a show on Fox News and conservatives know the snot out of him.
3) Huckabee’s clemency on Clemmons played a pivotal role in the possibility of those Tacoma police officers being murdered.
4) Herzfeld is on official record as having warned Huckabee against his policy of clemency.
5) Herzfeld is a young democrat moving up in the ranks.

Those five points make a star out of Robert Herzfeld, at least for now, and likely for 2012, if Huckabee goes anywhere near a presidential or vice-presidential bid.

And now for something completely different.

My husband, Jim, has been going on about a trend he’s noticing among mostly females. They’re ditching work, college finals and other important things to see the movie “New Moon,” the second installment in the teen book-based series, “The Twilight Saga.” It wouldn’t be a big deal if was merely “females,” but a scary section of the fans are women in their thirties and older. I started to change “older” to “more mature, but I think whatever maturity these fans have earned has sunk under the demerits of being a teenage vampire chick flick groupie.

I have seen Facebook updates from women talking all moony-eyed – don’t pardon the pun – over the actors, (I’m now looking up names and not pretending to be versed in this junk) Robert Pattinson, who plays the vampire, Edward Cullen; and Taylor Lautner, who plays the werewolf, Jacob Black. I won’t bother reading the full synopsis that imdb.com gives, though writers should have, or at least get, a good knowledge of what they about. I’m not writing about the plot of the “Twilight” movies. I’m writing as an outsider witnessing what I’ll dub “Twi Too Hards.”

But get this. Jim has shown me at least one Web site every day that either has a story about these wackos (I’m probably related to some) or a site totally dedicated to them. He pointed to one photo online where three women were practically swooning for one or the other male leads. There are teams, y’know, so they have to pick sides. Jim analyzes, “If these were grown men slobbering over young women in the same way, they’d be put in prison!” Well, maybe they’d just be labeled “mega-pervs,” but you get Jim’s meaning. It’s that dang hyperbole again.

As Jim spoke to me more about this frightening fandom, it hit me. Jim’s obsessed with the obsessed. That’s a double I’m-dumb-nity! I called him on it and he rolled his eyes. “Fshhh,” he said, and shooed me out of the room.

I walked out shaking my head. I can’t believe he doesn’t see how much time and effort he’s putting into the fans of that movie. I cut short the Herzfeld v. Huckabee topic in favor of making fun of Jim. As I get to the end of writing this column, it occurs to me: I have been obsessed with the obsessor of the obsessed of “Twilight” movies. That’s twi-fecta!

-
This column originally published on Sunday, December 6, 2009 in The Benton Courier. Read more of Shelli Columns.