I am really using Facebook all the time. I wouldn’t call it addicted. Addicted is when something is bad for you, right? What if I’m getting good out of it?

Example #1: On Tuesday, I sat clueless in front of a bunch of papers that my son brought home. I won’t do the “mom thing“ and tell you the papers were due the next day and they had sat in his car for a week. I had to fill out a form to buy my son a cap, gown, and tassel for high school graduation. It would be easy if it was simple, but no... There were a lot of extra papers and details that I didn’t need and I’ll be doggoned if I couldn’t find that one part that told me how much the basic stuff was.

I found prices for memory books, key chains, hoodies and more, and then there was the deluxe package. At a certain point, I was yelling at the sheets of paper on the desk. I looked up at the computer and realized... I have hundreds of connections on Facebook that live right in the area. There’s got to be somebody doing this exact same thing. Going to my status, I typed in my dilemma. Not five minutes later, there was somebody on there with the same problem. It went like this:

ME: Anybody else get a Balfour pack come home for your Senior? I can't figure out where the dang prices are for #1 & #37 (announcements and cap/gown/tassel). Yelling "WHAT THE CRAP" at the papers is not getting me very far.

CINDY: Yep... me too...

CINDY: Ah found it. Those prices are on the price sheet, not order form. #1=$.85 each, includes envelopes. #37=$25.95 w tax=$28.29

ME: Yayyy! Thanks! It's been a long day. I needed some haylp!

ME: I get the idea that we're in for a lot more expense when my daughter graduates, but my son doesn't even want announcements. We're getting #37 and being done with it. We'll just email the fambly to invite them.

CINDY: My daughter, She Who Wanted It All, has dragged out her order form saying but I got this many, I got that... Woe is me!

ME: I better start saving.
You just try Googling an answer for what I needed. That was way handy. Like, Ronco handy.

Example #2: I’m watching my shows Thursday night. “30 Rock” is on, and I’ve got the laptop in front of me. The show is cracking me up and then WAP! This big rainbowy “Breaking News” banner infiltrates my entertainment. Oh I was hot. I already knew that Curtis Vance had a guilty verdict for murdering local TV anchor Anne Pressly and was getting sentenced that night. Somebody didn’t tell the jurors to make their decision during a commercial break.

Here’s how my Facebook entry went:

ME: KARK! Do not Breaking News on my 30 Rock! If the tornado is gonna hit my house, THAT's a Breaking News! We already know Vance is getting sentenced one way or the other. DO NOT Breaking News on my shows unless I need to know RIGHT the doggone NOW!

DEBBIE: lol....try watching ch 7!!!

MORGAN: Vance got of too easy. Life in Prison??? Now taxpayers get to pay for the roof, bed and 3 meals he'll be getting. He has it better than some people who have been laid off from their jobs.

KIMBERLY: Ch 7 is Breaking News on Private Practice....complete with interviews and a press conference.

ME: Gimme a stinkin' crawl! That's all that's needed.
Okay, not as handy as Example #1, but it did feel good to have my rant validated first-hand. Just then, Jim got off the phone with someone who told him Dee’s old store on Salem Road was crazy on fire. Jim went to see if he could get pictures.

Example #3’s post went like so:

ME: Now THIS is breaking news... pawn shop/former gas station on Salem Road in Benton (Saline County) is burning to the ground.

ANITA: Yeah!!! THAT'S right down the road from my house! This might actually affect me in someway, TONIGHT.

ME: I don't know if Meg's Auction House is being affected. I have a "reporter" heading to the scene.

ANITA: And that furniture place is right in between them. Wonder what happened? Ready for a report from your correspondent.

MORGAN: Where, anywhere near Helmich? I have a friend there.

SHANE: Is this the old Salem Country Store, just up from Salem Baptist?

MORGAN: Where is that in relation to Helmich by Salem Methodist.

KRYSTAL: I have been sitting on my porch watching it! We are like 2 or 3 doors down! My father in law used to own That whole building! Very sad! I hope no one was hurt! It is under control now!

ME: Sat map: http://tinyurl.com/salemfire101209

MORGAN: Thanks Shelli

MARK: 5 fire depts. Salem, Benton, Bryant, Springhill, and Collegeville. Different building than Meg’s Auction House.

MORGAN: Benton, this is why we needed the half-cent sales tax. There is a fire on Salem Rd. and several fire departments there. Pray for the firemen!

ME: Preach the sales tax!

MARK: Pics are in my photos.

ME: Can I use your pics on MySaline.com?

MARK: Yes you can use them.

ME: Thanks! They're up now.

MEGAN: Everyone is fine. No one got hurt. The auction house did not burn. The furniture store is GONE. No longer there. The other buildings involved have some damage. We are very appreciative to the fire departments. They acted very fast. Thanks to all.

Did you see that? Within an hour, I had all the details of a fire across town, who was fighting it, who lives near it, what other buildings were affected and even a couple of photos. How can you not get addicted to that? Watch for my “Facebook Rehab” column next week, right?

This column was originally published in the Benton Courier on November 15, 2009. Read more of Shelli's columns.