Okay, can I just say that… I was sick and had to stay home from work two days this week, we have fire ants and the exterminator is coming to do the outside of the house on one day, which is embarrassing because we’re violating city ordinance by having our grass too high, but we can’t get the lawn mower to work after three days in a row. The exterminator doesn’t have time to do the inside of the house until a few days later, and that’s good news because the house is too messy to let in someone that’s going to poke around in every corner.

The boys do the dishes, but the laundry and papers are piled up since I’ve been cooking the dinner and helping with homework and building my Internet empire and going to the awesome day job (when I’m not sick) and Jim’s been finishing grad school with papers and presentations while being a full-time middle school teacher during the day and grading homework and planning work for the next day. And no, we still don’t have our taxes done! There, I said it!

So how was your week? I’m writing this on Tuesday, so hopefully, by the time you are reading this, things will be all swell again. At least the ants will be gone.

Here’s something good: no neighbors hollered at the boys for practicing in the garage tonight. Actually though, the sound was muffled because there was a loud thunderstorm going on at the same time and that made us unable to mow the grass, even if the mower had been working.

I’m writing about these trivialities for a few reasons, the first being that The Courier expects me to turn in a column every week, the second because I might kasplode otherwise, and the third is so folks can feel okay in crazy times. I know people are losing their jobs left and right. It stinks. Some are closer to me than I’d like them to be. Others are on the news, but it’s still in Arkansas, and sometimes it’s right down the road.

I don’t feel great about Harvest Foods closing in downtown Benton, where neighbors there could just walk to the store and walk home. It’s just as bad seeing City Market on Arkansas 5 in Bryant have to close their doors soon. Both of these closures stem from the bigger problem of Affiliated Foods having to file for bankruptcy. That means grocery stores all over the state will have people will out of work.

I have to wonder what will come of all these people out of work. We know there are the normal things of trying to pay bills and eat, but I wonder what folks will get themselves up to during the day? I wonder if this will be a time that the mom-and-pop shop comes back. In addition, this country that once was famous for inventing the “electric carriage” and the “talkies” may end up using their spare unemployed time to solve the mysteries of the universe.

For those who may be wondering what to do with the spare time, here are a few mysteries and/or problems I’d like to get solved. Why is there a kaleidoscope inside my eyelids when I rub my eyes, and how can I get a copy of that put on a t-shirt? Why does a clock spin clockwise when the Earth is going the same direction? It seems easier just to sit still. And please, please, work on vehicular hyperspace so I can get past the accidents on the Interstate.


This column appeared in the Benton Courier on 05/10/09
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